Maybe These Horses Should Have Just Been Dog Food Instead Of Kentucky Derby Favorites

general challenge

by Frank Rhombus

Orb was a 5-1 favorite in the 139th Kentucky Derby last year, and he did what favorites are supposed to do: win. These favorites from the last fifteen years, however, had more trouble finding the finish line than Melissa McCarthy trying to run, well, anywhere…

2011 – Dialed In

Also a 5-1 favorite, Dialed In was never a factor. In fact, this piece of pure horse shit was dead last for more than half the race before making a late worthless charge past the other turds just to finish eighth in an effort that was almost as pathetic as Rascal Flatts fans…


2005 – Bellamy Road

If you bet on Bellamy Road as a 5-2 favorite in the 2005 Derby, you probably felt like anybody who has sat through 45 minutes of stand-up from Bill Bellamy when the race was over, as it was a complete waste of money. While Bellamy Road held its own for three quarters of the race, it had nothing left in the tank for the final push, and I guess the same can be said for Nick Lachey’s career at this point…

2002 – Harlan’s Holiday

A 6-1 favorite, we’re surprised this fucker wasn’t euthanized before the race finished. After getting bumped at the start, this pile of shit raced as far back as 11th and eventually finished 7th, leaving anybody who bet on it almost as disappointed as anybody who paid to see Here on Earth

1999 – General Challenge

People who bet on this sack of shit must have felt mentally challenged after watching this nag finish 11th…

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