Yankees’ Michael Pineda Ejected For Being A Goddamn Idiot

michael pineda pine tar

by Tommy Gimler

The last time Michael Pineda pitched against the Boston Red Sox, it looked as though either he was shoving his palm up Ichiro Suzuki’s asshole or caking his palm with pine tar. Everyone except Pineda made the logical conclusion that it was indeed pine tar. So, you would think the next time he faced the Sox he would be just a tad more discreet about it. But again, it seems as though everyone except Michael Pineda would make that logical conclusion.

Pineda was ejected during the second inning of Wednesday night’s game against Boston after leaving Red Sox manager John Farrell no choice but to question why the right side of Pineda’s neck was glistening more than any other section of his exposed skin. The umpires conferred at the mound and determined it was pine tar again, and Pineda will most likely receive a 10-game suspension as a result.

Look, every big league pitcher uses a foreign substance when they take the mound. According to Tom Verducci of Sports Illustrated and MLB Network, most pitchers keep pine tar, sunblock lotion, an aerosol sticky spray, or various other lotions as a binding agent with rosin or saliva. Hell, the majority of Major League hitters wouldn’t care if they mixed a little semen in there as long as keeps the ball away from their domes.

But this is almost as ridiculous as the Cubs still being called a Major League team:

Pineda vs. Toronto on April 5th

Pineda vs. Boston on April 10th

Pineda vs. Boston tonight

What Michael Pineda is thinking is anybody’s guess. Maybe he really thought he tricked everyone in Major League Baseball and the media when he said it was just dirt. Maybe he thinks he’s so black that nobody will notice that shit when he puts it on his skin. Or maybe, and we’ll lean with this, he’s just a goddamn idiot..

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