On The 40th Anniversary Of His 715th Home Run, Hank Aaron Decided To Compare President Obama’s Republican Critics To The KKK
by Frank Rhombus
The Atlanta Braves are no strangers to freedom of expression. I mean, they throw it in our faces everyday by winning games despite filling their roster with turds like B.J. Upton, Justin Upton, and Dan Uggla. But they really took it to another level during their home opener against the New York Mets last night.
Before pulling out their best impression of a Kevin Costner movie and totally sucking ass to the tune of a 4-0 shutout at the hands of the Mets, the Braves honored the “true home run king” Hank Aaron with a ceremony commemorating the 40th anniversary of his then record-breaking 715th career home run. And during the ceremony, the former Braves outfielder had some kind words for the fans in attendance:
I want to say thank you so very much for all your kindness over these many years. Every ounce of my ability to play the game, I tried to play to make you, the fans, appreciate me more.
But in an interview with USA Today, Aaron sounded more like a cross between Jesse Jackson and Stephen A. Smith rather than a blessed athlete celebrating one of the greatest sports moments in history:
To remind myself that we are not that far removed from when I was chasing the record. If you think that, you are fooling yourself. A lot of things have happened in this country, but we have so far to go. There’s not a whole lot that has changed. We can talk about baseball. Talk about politics. Sure, this country has a black president, but when you look at a black president, President Obama is left with his foot stuck in the mud from all of the Republicans with the way he’s treated. We have moved in the right direction, and there have been improvements, but we still have a long ways to go in the country. The bigger difference is that back then they had hoods. Now they have neckties and starched shirts.
Look, the two greatest things about this country are unlimited access to free internet porn and freedom of speech, and Hammerin’ Hank has earned the right to speak freely on any subject more than most after going through what he did during his quest for greatness. I mean, imagine having to deal with the shit he had to deal with before hitting number 715. From CBS Sports:
Aaron, now 80, received death threats in the weeks and months leading up to the record-breaking homer. Newspapers reportedly prepared obituaries in case he was murdered prior to or soon after claiming the top spot on the all-time home run list.
But to compare Republican lawmakers to the KKK just because they don’t agree with Obama’s policies or agenda is a bigger stretch than calling Vin Diesel an “actor.”
Not to be outdone by the greatest home run hitter of all-time, the Atlanta Braves said, “I’ll see your freedom of speech, Mr. Aaron, and raise you one.” And to show they weren’t fucking around, they burned the enormous American flag atop the Turner Field scoreboard in centerfield:
— Mike Conti (@MikeConti929) April 9, 2014