Just Like A Sexy Porn Starlet Giving A Beej To Lexington Steele, The San Jose Sharks Are On The Verge Of An Epic Choke Job

kings sharks game 7

by Teddy Westside

We could literally see an epic (and you know me, I hate when people use the word epic) collapse by the San Jose Sharks tomorrow night. On April 22, they were up 3-0, but after last night’s shit show, they find themselves tied 3-3 with their bitter rivals: the Los Angeles Kings.

Only three teams have ever come back from a 3-0 deficit in the NHL playoffs, and the Kings have a good shot at doing just that. Well, they have a better shot at that than Donald Sterling does hailing a cab in Alabama, anyway.

What makes this game so damn compelling is these two teams hate each other. And I’m not talking about those pussies caught up in the Yankees/Red Sox rivalry or even Steelers/Ravens. No, I am talking about true hatred, the kind that is forged in the fires of proximity (same state, 5 1/2 hours apart) and stakes (these teams have met three of the past four years in the playoffs).

Either way, the other teams in the Western Conference are so happy this series is going to seven games. Someone is bound to get hurt, and bruises start to add up. The Sharks should have been the most well-rested team after taking a 3-0 lead, but now, if they do happen to win, they will be the team running on fumes. Same could be said for the Kings, who just two years ago won the Cup.

Game 7 is tomorrow night in San Jose at the Shark Tank at 7pm local time. Expect goals to be scored, fights happening on and off the ice, and the death rate to go up in the surrounding metropolitan areas. Playoff hockey, bitch!

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