The Last Time Greg Oden Started A Game…

greg oden

by Tommy Gimler

Serge Ibaka’s “attempt” to block a LeBron James’ throw down Thursday night left “The King” with a broken beak, and James will miss tonight’s game in Chicago against the Bulls as a result. Getting the start in his place? You guessed it: Greg Oden, who hasn’t started a game since December 5, 2009. That was four years, two months, and eighteen days ago.

Here’s a list of things that were going on the last time Greg Oden started an NBA game:

*The number one song in America was “Empire State of Mind” by Jay-Z and Alicia Keys.

*Nobody knew that Barbara Walters had a vibrator named “Selfie.”

*The number one movie in America was The Blind Side, a movie in which a white family took in a homeless black man. Or in other words, something that has only happened in the South once.

*The average price of gasoline in the United States was $2.61 per gallon, which made driving that ’74 El Camino and its 17 MPG somewhat affordable.

*Amy Winehouse was still alive, and she was probably hallucinating on some shit.

*The night before Oden’s last start, LeBron James poured in 36 points…for the Cleveland Cavaliers.

*According to USA Today, Kurt Warner was making just over $19 million playing quarterback for the Arizona Cardinals, good for the fourth highest salary in the NFL behind Eli Manning ($20.5 million), Jay Cutler ($22.04 million), and Philip Rivers ($25.55 million).

*Donvan McNabb was still the starting quarterback for the Philadelphia Eagles.

*According to Rotten Tomatoes, the two worst movies of the year were Old Dogs and Miss March. To show you just how bad those movies were, Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience was considered to be five times the movie of those pieces of dog shit.

*Gary Coleman was still alive, but you have to think most of him felt dead after doing commercials like this:

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One Response to The Last Time Greg Oden Started A Game…

  1. Haywood Jablomey says:

    Hey, give him a break, he’s a 60 year old man for Christsake.

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