Louisville Football Recruit Allegedly Knocked Up His 14-Year-Old Cousin

Sharieff-Rhaheed-Muhammad

by Tommy Gimler

You know how television cameras capture the Super Bowl MVP during his finest moment, and he looks in the camera and yells, “I’m going to Disneyworld?” Well, this mugshot is pretty much the exact opposite:

Louisville football three-star recruit Sharieff Rhaheed-Muhammad is in deep shit. The good news for him is that head coach Bobby Petrino is an evil genius when it comes to rebounding after totally fucking up your life. But even Petrino never dug himself a hole this deep.

Police in Fort Pierce, Florida have arrested Rhaheed-Muhammad on felony sex charges after he allegedly impregnated his 14-year-old cousin. After telling her mother she was preggers with his kid in November, the girl got hoovered.

But that didn’t mean it was over for the star linebacker.

Rhaheed-Muhammad initially refused to provide a DNA sample to authorities, so the fuzz obtained a warrant to get one anyway. According to Deadspin, that sample “showed a nearly 100 percent chance that he was the father.”

It’s still not sure how any of this will affect him playing football at Louisville, and that’s pretty fucking sad. You have to think that his status amongst his peers has taken a damning hit, though. We’ll assume the conversation between him and one of his boys went something like this:

Sharieff: Sup man.

Terrell: Sup dog.

Sharieff: I fucked up, man.

Terrell: Shit, man. What’d you do?

Sharieff: I got a girl pregnant, yo.

Terrell: So, who hasn’t?

Sharieff: Yeah, but she was 14.

Terrell: Oh shit. Do you know her, man?

Sharieff: Yeah, man. She my cousin.

Terrell: Yeah, you should leave now…

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One Response to Louisville Football Recruit Allegedly Knocked Up His 14-Year-Old Cousin

  1. Haywood Jablomey says:

    Hey at least it wasn’t a 14 year old boy. But if it was, he could always transfer to PSU.

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