Jonathan Martin Was Fined $100 Numerous Times For Being A Big Pussy

jonathan martin

by Frank Rhombus

NFL investigator Ted Wells released an epic 144-page report on the Miami Dolphins yesterday detailing everything from Jonathan Martin’s pussy issues to Richie Incognito’s farts. The biggest takeaway? You guessed it: Martin was fined ten times as much as Incognito for tearing ass.

Part of that report was made up of a notebook used to record various fines members of the offensive line placed on each other. In one instance, Jason Weaver was fined $100 for not bringing candy. Will Yeatman was fined $150 for catching a touchdown pass. Dallas Thomas had to pay $150 for having “stinky dreads.” Tyson Clabo was fined $50 for having a grey hair. Marcus Pouncey was fined $100 for being subpoenaed by the FBI, $100 for being “salty,” and another $100 for being a “Negative Nancy.” There was also a fine of 500,000,000 in there, but that must have been in pesos, as I think that translates into almost seven bucks.

But by far the most often fined player was Martin, as he was fined for being late, keeping a ready call to himself, floating air biscuits, and on five different occasions, for being a huge pussy.

In all, the fines amounted to $35,000 that was supposed to be used for a vacation for the entire O-line at the end of the year. But now that probably won’t happen, and all because Jonathan Martin is a huge pussy…

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One Response to Jonathan Martin Was Fined $100 Numerous Times For Being A Big Pussy

  1. Nacho dan says:

    They all look like pussy. $100 for no candy? $10 for a fart? Looks pretty gay bro.

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