Auburn Fan Has Potential $50,000 Winning Bet, Doesn’t Hedge, Is A Goddamn Idiot

auburn gambling ticket

by Tommy Gimler

There are very few times life serves up a situation where no matter what happens, you’re walking away a winner. Sometimes it’s in the form of a gymnast from your high school telling you she’ll do any position with you except doggy. Fine. Who gives a shit? She’s a gymnast for Christ’s sake.

Auburn Tigers fan Mark Skiba had just that in his lap, but in the form of a $100 bet his father placed for him on his beloved team last January in Vegas. And just like a Hollywood studio pegging Ben Affleck to play anything other than a douche, this guy completely fucked it up.

At 500-to-1 odds, Skiba was holding a ticket worth $50,000 if the Tigers could upset the #1-ranked Florida State Seminoles. But even if it didn’t happen, all Skiba had to do was hedge his bet by taking the Seminoles money line (-330).

Sure, that money line was bigger than Melissa McCarthy’s gunt, but no matter the outcome, it would mean guaranteed money. Place $25,000 on the money line, and if the Tigers win, he would still go home with $25,000. If tragedy strikes and the Seminoles come away victorious, he still pockets $7,475.76 ($7,575.76 win minus the original $100 bet).

Instead, this clown just let the original bet ride. So, after the Seminoles scored the game-winning touchdown with thirteen seconds remaining in the fourth quarter, it meant Skiba was left holding nothing but a dick sandwich.

So, why didn’t Skiba place a bet against Auburn? We were going to crack the joke that he probably had trouble coming up with two years of salary to place the $25,000 bet, but since he works for a medical software company, it would’t apply in this case. Well, unless he’s their janitor.

Instead, Skiba said he consulted friends and others before making the dipshit decision not to hedge. Some people told him he would be jinxing the team.

“I heard from a lot of Auburn fans,” he said. “Some of them said, ‘You’ve come this far, you going to give up now?’ At the end of the day, I want us to win the game. We’re playing for the damn national championship. Winning the money still doesn’t even seem real.”

Yeah, it doesn’t seem real because there is no money, you fucking moron…

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