Ho, Ho, Ho. Rakesh Is Here To Give You Fifty Bucks If You Win The DUD NFL Pick ‘Em, Bro

Published by rakesh on December 18th, 2013

by Rakesh The Intern

Check it out, bro. What is with Santa Claus having to be big fat white guy in this country, bro? Imagine if kids in America saw that Santa was a ripped dude or whatever you call it in this country and instead of leaving cookie for his fat ass, they leave him protein shake or Pure Protein bar, my friend. I’ll tell you what, bro. In my country, Baba is much skinnier. Does it have anything to do with the fact that my people can’t afford extra food to waste? Not sure, bro.

Anyway, check it out, bro. I do unpaid internship here at Daily Upper Decker, but my boss say, “Hey Rakesh. If you can pick NFL games better than everybody else, I give you fifty bucks.” So, since last week the only way I make fifty dollar is by eating six saltine cracker in one minute, I say, “You got it, my friend.”

Here are the rules, bro:

1) In the comments section below, pick winner of each game, beginning with this Sunday’s game when Denver beat Houston, bro (1PM Eastern, 10AM Pacific).

2) Put your name and real email address when you sign in, bro. This is the only way I can get you your money if you win, my friend. My boss say he will not contact you with any other offers or pills to make your junk big, bro.

3) There are 16 games this week, my friend. The pick you are most confident about, bro, you put 16 point next to it. The one you are totally like guessing at or picking upset or whatever you call it in this country, that is where you put 1 point.

4) If there is tie between two or three or seven people, bro, then whoever got the most correct picks wins the fifty dollar, bro. If there is still a tie after that, my friend, then whoever posted their picks first will be the winner.

5) You must beat my picks, bro. I get fifty dollar from my boss if I am better than everybody else.

6) Picks must be in before the start of this Sunday’s game with Texan and Bronco (1PM Eastern/10AM Pacific), bro.

Here are this week’s games, my friend. Check out Sunday’s shit from pig game featuring Jet and Brown, bro. If you live in those markets, boss, it might be good time to go get erotic massage from hot Asian girly instead, my friend. Just ask for the “Flying Wang,” and you will not be disappointed, bro. Good luck or whatever you call it, bro:

Miami at Buffalo

Minnesota at Cincinnati

Cleveland at NY Jets

Indianapolis at Kansas City

Tampa Bay at St. Louis

Dallas at Washington

New Orleans at Carolina

Tennessee at Jacksonville

Denver at Houston

NY Giants at Detroit

Arizona at Seattle

Oakland at San Diego

New England at Baltimore

Pittsburgh at Green Bay

Chicago at Philadelphia

Atlanta at San Francisco

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14 Responses

  1. rakesh says:

    16 – Denver
    15 – San Francisco
    14 – Dallas
    13 – Seattle
    12 – Kansas City
    11 – Cincinnati
    10 – St. Louis
    9 – Detroit
    8 – Green Bay
    7 – San Diego
    6 – New England
    5 – Philadelphia
    4 – Miami
    3 – Tennessee
    2 – Cleveland
    1 – New Orleans

  2. Monty says:

    16 – Denver
    15 – San Francisco
    14 – San Diego
    13 – Seattle
    12 – Kansas City
    11 – Miami
    10 – Cleveland
    9 – St. Louis
    8 – Tennessee
    7 – Detroit
    6 – Cincinnati
    5 – Green Bay
    4 – Baltimore
    3 – Carolina
    2 – Philadelphia
    1 – Dallas

  3. Gary D says:

    16 – Cincy

    15 – Detroit

    14 – San Diego
    
13 – San Fran

    12 – Kansas City
    
11 – Seattle

    10 – St. Louis

    9 – Denver

    8 – Baltimore

    7 – Carolina

    6 – Dallas
    
5 – Green Bay
    
4 – Buffalo

    3 – Tennessee

    2 – NY Jets
    
1 – Philadelphia

  4. TontoKowalski says:

    I’m sick of not winning this thing…so here we go, the winning bracket is:

    16) Cleveland
    15) San Francisco
    14) Seattle
    13) Denver
    12) San Diego
    11) Detroit
    10) Kansas City
    09) Cincinnati
    08) Tennessee
    07) St. Louis
    06) New Orleans
    05) Dallas
    04) New England
    03) Philadelphia
    02) Miami
    01) Pittsburgh (assuming Rodgers is still out, if he’s in…the boys in black are going to get smacked, sadly)

  5. Sarah says:

    16. Seattle
    15. San Francisco
    14. Dallas
    13. Denver
    12. Detroit
    11. San Diego
    10.Kansas City
    9. cincinatti
    8. Miami
    7. St. Louis
    6. New England
    5. Green Bay
    4. Chicago
    3. NY Jets
    2. Carolina
    1. Tennessee

  6. Tim Burhop says:

    16. Detroit
    15. San Francisco
    14. Cincy
    13. Seattle
    12. Denver
    11. Kansas City
    10. St. Louis
    9. San Diego
    8. Green Bay
    7. Dallas
    6. New England
    5. Miami
    4. Carolina
    3. Jacksonville
    2. Philly
    1. Cleveland

  7. Another Matt says:

    16 – Seattle
    15 – Denver
    14 – San Fran
    13 – Cincinnati
    12 – St Louis
    11 – Detroit
    10 – San Diego
    9 – Kansas City
    8 – Miami
    7 – Tennessee
    6 – Dallas
    5 – Cleveland
    4 – Carolina
    3 – New England
    2 – Chicago
    1 – Green Bay

  8. teesh says:

    Buffalo 10
    Cincinnati 8
    Cleveland 3
    Indianapolis 2
    St. Louis 5
    Washington 4
    Carolina 7
    Jacksonville 6
    Denver 16
    Detroit 11
    Seattle 9
    Oakland 1
    Baltimore 12
    Pittsburgh 13
    Philadelphia 14
    San Francisco 15

  9. cory says:

    16 – Denver
    15 – San Francisco
    14 – Seattle
    13 – Chicago
    12 – Cincinnati
    11 – Baltimore
    10 – Green Bay
    9 – NY Jets
    8 – Miami
    7 – St. Louis
    6 – Kansas City
    5 – Carolina
    4 – NY Giants
    3 – San Diego
    2 – Jacksonville
    1 – Washington

  10. James Moran says:

    Miami 13

    Cincinnati 5

    Cleveland 1

    Kansas City 11

    St. Louis 6

    Dallas 9

    Carolina 2

    Tennessee 7

    Denver 16

    Detroit 8

    Seattle 10

    San Diego 14

    New England 3

    Pittsburgh 12

    Philadelphia 4

    San Francisco 15

  11. Dutch says:

    Miami 9

    Cincinnati 11

    NY Jets 10

    Kansas City 14

    St. Louis 8

    Dallas 7

    Carolina 5

    Jacksonville 6

    Denver 15

    Detroit 4

    Seattle 13

    San Diego 12

    Baltimore 1
    Green Bay 3

    Philadelphia 2

    San Francisco 16

  12. Tabitha says:

    16- Kansas City
    15- Denver
    14- Seattle
    13- Dallas
    12- Miami
    11- Detroit
    10- Jacksonville
    9- Green Bay
    8- St. Louis
    7- Minnesota
    6- San Diego
    5- San Francisco
    4- Chicago
    3- NY Jets
    2- New Orleans
    1- New England

  13. Ryan Ackerman says:

    16-Seattle
    15- Cincinnati
    14- Kansas City
    13- San Francisco
    12- Detroit
    11- Denver
    10- San Diego
    9- Philadelphia
    8- Jacksonville
    7- Saint Louis
    6- Miami
    5- Green Bay
    4- Washington
    3- Carolina
    2- Baltimore
    1- Jets

  14. Justin god gilbert says:

    9ers 16
    Broncos 15
    Sea chickens 14
    Lions 13
    Chargers 12
    Chiefs 11
    Bengals 10
    Rams 9
    Bears 8
    Steelers 7
    Titans 6
    Cowgirls 5
    Sex panthers 4
    Dolphins 3
    Browns 2
    Ravens 1


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