by Rakesh The Intern
Check it out, bro. What is with Santa Claus having to be big fat white guy in this country, bro? Imagine if kids in America saw that Santa was a ripped dude or whatever you call it in this country and instead of leaving cookie for his fat ass, they leave him protein shake or Pure Protein bar, my friend. I’ll tell you what, bro. In my country, Baba is much skinnier. Does it have anything to do with the fact that my people can’t afford extra food to waste? Not sure, bro.
Anyway, check it out, bro. I do unpaid internship here at Daily Upper Decker, but my boss say, “Hey Rakesh. If you can pick NFL games better than everybody else, I give you fifty bucks.” So, since last week the only way I make fifty dollar is by eating six saltine cracker in one minute, I say, “You got it, my friend.”
Here are the rules, bro:
1) In the comments section below, pick winner of each game, beginning with this Sunday’s game when Denver beat Houston, bro (1PM Eastern, 10AM Pacific).
2) Put your name and real email address when you sign in, bro. This is the only way I can get you your money if you win, my friend. My boss say he will not contact you with any other offers or pills to make your junk big, bro.
3) There are 16 games this week, my friend. The pick you are most confident about, bro, you put 16 point next to it. The one you are totally like guessing at or picking upset or whatever you call it in this country, that is where you put 1 point.
4) If there is tie between two or three or seven people, bro, then whoever got the most correct picks wins the fifty dollar, bro. If there is still a tie after that, my friend, then whoever posted their picks first will be the winner.
5) You must beat my picks, bro. I get fifty dollar from my boss if I am better than everybody else.
6) Picks must be in before the start of this Sunday’s game with Texan and Bronco (1PM Eastern/10AM Pacific), bro.
Here are this week’s games, my friend. Check out Sunday’s shit from pig game featuring Jet and Brown, bro. If you live in those markets, boss, it might be good time to go get erotic massage from hot Asian girly instead, my friend. Just ask for the “Flying Wang,” and you will not be disappointed, bro. Good luck or whatever you call it, bro:
Miami at Buffalo
Minnesota at Cincinnati
Cleveland at NY Jets
Indianapolis at Kansas City
Tampa Bay at St. Louis
Dallas at Washington
New Orleans at Carolina
Tennessee at Jacksonville
Denver at Houston
NY Giants at Detroit
Arizona at Seattle
Oakland at San Diego
New England at Baltimore
Pittsburgh at Green Bay
Chicago at Philadelphia
Atlanta at San Francisco