The DUD 2013 NBA Preview

utah jazz mascot

by Tommy Gimler, Barry Murphy, and Mandatory’s Gary Dudak

If you think that David Stern is going to let the Indiana Pacers win the championship in the final year of his regime, you’re a fucking idiot.

The DUD’s NBA expert Barry Murphy says a betting man has to put his money on the Miami Heat to win it all. Mandatory’s Gary Dudak thinks the Heat will make the Finals and then lose to James Harden’s terrorist beard and his Rockets teammates. Tommy Gimler knows the NBA is fixed, and picking anybody outside of the Heat is a bigger mistake than going bareback with a broad from the South.

Click below to listen to the latest DUDcast, which the boys were somehow able to keep under one hour in length:

NBA Preview

While the whole thing is funnier than watching a fat ass in a Venice Boulevard crosswalk trying to make it across the road in less than thirty seconds, here are just some of the highlights:

9:45 mark – Tommy discusses how he is the San Antonio Spurs of sex.

15:00 mark – The boys feel like Tim Kurkjian discussing how bad the 76ers are going to be this year.

16:20 mark – Gary and Barry explain why the Mavericks under 43.5 games is a bigger lock than Melissa McCarthy taking over 2.5 deuces each day this week.

24:00 mark – Barry gives Gary the names of six veterans, and Gary tries to name which team these has-beens are now playing for. Tommy thought two-thirds of them were out of the league.

30:50 mark – What are the odds that at some point this season, Miami’s Chris Bosh turns into one of those creatures from District 9?

41:00 mark – The Russians are up to something in Brooklyn.

42:30 mark – Tommy thinks that you have to be shrooming to truly appreciate the majority of NBA mascots.

Gary Dudak’s 2013 Over/Under Bets

Chicago Bulls UNDER 56.5

Orlando Magic OVER 23

Dallas Mavericks UNDER 43.5

Barry Murphy’s 2013 Over/Under Bets

Dallas Mavericks UNDER 43.5

Portland Trailblazers OVER 37.5

Boston Celtics UNDER 29.5

Tommy Gimler’s 2013 Over/Under Bets

Cleveland Cavaliers OVER 39

Houston Rockets OVER 55

Los Angeles Lakers OVER 35

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