The DUD Challenge: Can You Maintain An Erection While Reading This Story About The Arizona Cardinals Safety Who Lost Part of His Finger In A Shitty Loss To The Saints?

rashad johnson finger

by Tommy Gimler

You’ve probably never heard of Arizona Cardinals safety Rashad Johnson, and that’s because he plays safety for the Arizona Cardinals. And even after losing the upper portion of the middle finger on his left hand making a tackle in yesterday’s loss to the Saints, he’ll probably still be known only as “the NFL player who lost his finger,” and that’s because he plays safety for the Arizona Cardinals.

But by now, even the average NFL fan has heard of this player who lost part of his finger rying to make a tackle yesterday. Going forward with this post by just repeating every gruesome detail you have already read about would be pointless. In fact, most of the media reports are so gruesome, that we had to read/look at something else just to clear our minds of exactly what each stage of this process looked like.

And that got us thinking, without the use of his father’s Cialis stash, would the average American male be able to maintain an erection while reading through the details of this story? And then again, we had to quickly read/look at something else to quickly clear our minds of this thought.

But for what it’s worth, here is that challenge that we strongly recommend taking outside of the work place. We’ll provide you with a series of pictures that should initiate a boner unless you’re a homo. Then we’ll sprinkle in the details from Rashad Johnson’s finger loss to test your staying power. And no, we don’t want to know how you did…

The DUD Challenge

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According to numerous media reports, teammates said they didn’t notice that anything was seriously wrong until they saw blood “leaking from his glove like a faucet.” When he took his glove off, his fingertip was still in it…

Nice side boob...

According to ESPN, “Cardinals trainers cut off the left glove to find his middle finger severed just above the knuckle with exposed bone. The rest of Johnson’s finger, including the nail, was still in the glove.”

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Johnson was immediately rushed to the hospital for surgery. With no plans to reattach the finger, doctors had to shave the exposed bone down so it wouldn’t become infected. We don’t have pictures of that, but we imagine it went something like this:

Hard yet?

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