Evan Gattis Hit A Marlins “Fan” In His Cock And Balls Last Night

evan gattis

by Tommy Gimler

Lost somewhere between the benches clearing in last night’s Marlins/Braves game and the fact that people actually showed up to watch this game was the fact that Atlanta’s rookie sensation Evan Gattis put some stank on a Jose Fernandez fastball and watched as it cleared the left field wall and clobbered a young man in his pecker.

That’s really it, I guess. There’s no other way to introduce this video other than Evan Gattis is going to hit a home run, and instead of the ball landing in an old woman’s mitt, it nails a dude in his schnitzel:

The Braves would go on to lose last night’s game, but the fireworks were far from over. If you go back to the beginning of the video, you’ll see Gattis stop at home plate and stare at his home run like a true fucking asshole. Braves third baseman (and somehow the National League leader in batting average) Chris Johnson would hit a rather impressive fly out, as impressive as it gets, really, but nonetheless a fly out, and he too would exit the field in an asshole-ish manner by jawing at Fernandez.

In Fernandez’s next at-bat, he would hit his first Major League home run, and he would “celebrate” by flipping his bat and then spitting on third base in front of Johnson. That didn’t sit too well with the Braves:

So, to anybody who is still paying attention, I guess the lesson learned here is that the Atlanta Braves can do whatever they want, and if you do the same thing, you’re the asshole…

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One Response to Evan Gattis Hit A Marlins “Fan” In His Cock And Balls Last Night

  1. Walter says:

    Hmmm. I’d prefer the ol’ 97 mph fastball to the dome. That ought to stop the bat flip for a while.

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