Ryan Braun Is 9th Least Trustworthy Athlete According To Celebrity Database

Ryan Braun Liar

by Tommy Gimler

According to to an ESPN.com report, Ryan Braun is one of the least trustworthy athletes in America, even less trustworthy than Aaron Hernandez, who is currently awaiting trial in Massachusetts for first-degree murder.

ESPN cited Repucom’s Celebrity DBI database, which includes athletes among its 2,988 celebrities. Here are the athletes who were deemed even less trustworthy than Ryan Braun:

Lance Armstrong

Marion Jones

Manny Ramirez

Metta World Peace

Dennis Rodman

Pete Rose

Michael Vick

John Daly

John Daly? Sure, he has gambled away sums of money that dwarf some countries’ gross domestic products. And sure, his past drinking problems make Mel Gibson look like a lightweight pussy. But you know exactly what you’re going to get with John Daly:

That guy is more untrustworthy than Ryan Braun? Look, the day John Daly starts using golf tees instead of beer cans, maybe that’s when he becomes untrustworthy in our book. But for now, here is a list of guys we feel should replace him and/or Ryan Braun on this list:

Aaron Hernandez

We’re not saying that Ryan Braun is a trustworthy person, but let’s say, for example, that both Braun and Hernandez are spokesmen for McDonald’s. If Braun says that the McRib is delicious, odds are that it instead tastes like cancer. But that’s a hell of a lot better than ordering a McRib, taking a bite, and then getting your fucking head blown off…

Lamar Odom

You want us to trust a guy who, out of all of the Kardashian sisters, chooses Khloe?

Alex Rodriguez

If Ryan Braun is to trustworthy as Lil Wayne is to talented, then Alex Rodriguez is on the same level as Taylor Swift…

Titus Young

Ryan Braun might have stolen the trust of a young child, but at least he didn’t try to steal his own car

Adam Dunn

We can’t trust a baseball player who thinks that striking out over 200 times in one season is actually OK…

Tiger Woods

If you’re telling us to trust a guy who was plowing this:

And thought, eh, I’d rather do this:

More than Ryan Braun, then you’re fucking high…

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