Who Are The Worst Fans In Major League Baseball?

tampa bay empty seats

by Tommy Gimler

I ran into a Dodgers “fan” at the local liquor store this afternoon who surprisingly spoke English and was actually paying for his unusual order of Keystone Light and two cups of Yopait. But as I listened to him attempt to make a case for Yasiel Puig being an All-Star, repeatedly referring to him as Kaseem Puig instead, I had to ask myself if there actually is a such thing as a Dodgers fan who isn’t totally worthless. And it got us thinking, along with the Dodgers, what other teams have the worst fans in Major League Baseball?

5. Los Angeles Dodgers

One thing you have to give Dodgers fans is that they do show up to Chavez Ravine. In fact, no team has put more fans in the seats this year than Los Doyers. But once they are in the stadium, it’s hard to determine who is actually there to watch a baseball game and who is there as part of their initiation to the La Mirada Locos. Standing up and cheering for the opposing team can be about as dangerous a game of Five Finger Filet or just hanging out with/playing a game of Boo-Ray with Javaris Crittenton…

4. Arizona Diamondbacks

The Arizona Diamondbacks currently sit atop the NL West with a 39-33 record, yet on average their stadium is only 57% full (23rd worst in MLB). And when the Dbacks actually do make the postseason, it seems fans would rather sit inside and cut up some Sudafed instead of making their way to the ballpark to root on the home team. Arizona last made it to the NLDS in 2011, and while 48,312 people bought tickets to Game 3, anybody watching the game on television could see that maybe half of that actually showed up. And Game 4′s ticket sales of 38,830 (less than 80% of capacity) was an embarrassment…

3. Chicago White Sox

Sure, the South Siders suck something fierce this year, but even in years past when they have been competitive, their fan base has either stayed home, had some kind of night class trying to earn their GED, or missed parole. Only six teams are averaging fewer fans per home game this year than the White Sox. And hey, anytime somebody in your fan base is known as the last guy who jumped on the field and tried to beat the shit out of an umpire, you’re going to make this list…

2. Cleveland Indians

Only the Miami Marlins are averaging fewer fans than the Tribe this year, but Marlins fans actually have a reason to stay away from the ballpark. So, what gives in Cleveland? The metropolitan area’s unemployment rate in April was 6.6%, a half a point better than the national average of 7.1%. And the new-look Indians are currently one game over .500 and just four games behind Detroit in the AL Central. People have jobs and the Indians are good, yet people are still staying away from Progressive Field. Maybe it’s time for Indians officials to do a half-price ticket giveaway for Cuyahoga County residents infected with gonorrhea (10th most infected county in the US) to put people in the seats. Well, just as long as all of the seats get washed after the game…

1. Tampa Bay Rays

The Houston Astros are averaging more fans per home game than the Rays, and the Astros are currently fielding a minor league ball club. Tampa Bay has made the postseason in three of the last five seasons, including a trip to the World Series in 2008, they have a solid nucleus of young talent, and they have the best manager in the game in Joe Maddon. This year’s squad is currently three games over .500 and just five behind Boston in the AL East, yet the Rays can’t put more than 18,000 fans in the seats on an average night. Either MLB needs to get that team out of there, or Rays officials need to do a better job of marketing to the people who reside in St. Petersburg. We suggest promotions like “Buy Two Tickets And Receive Your Choice Of A Free Tank Of Oxygen Or A Free Scooter Battery” Day or “Free Admission To Anybody Who Was Alive When Calvin Coolidge Was In Office” Day…

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2 Responses to Who Are The Worst Fans In Major League Baseball?

  1. Ted says:

    Wow. What a racist and ageist scumbag. Bet you don’t have the “cojones” to put a face to the article

  2. Ted says:

    Of course you would moderate what gets kept

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