Think Your Wife Is A Crazy Bitch? Check Out This Broad

crazy bitch

by Tommy Gimler

Last night’s fourth quarter of the Heat-Bulls game was as exciting as it gets during a 37-point blowout. Upset with the pig shit referees, who more than ensured that Miami would not go to Chicago in an 0-2 hole, both Joakim Noah and Taj Gibson were ejected at the 10:13 mark for arguing with them. And while Gibson’s f-bomb laden escort from the court was well worth waiting for instead changing the channel for some late-night Skinemax, it was this picture from Deadspin of this crazy bitch flipping off Noah heading to the locker room that has everybody talking (well, except Stephen Hawking):

Wow. She really does have a pretty mouth. Let’s break this down…

The DUD Breakdown

1) It’s amazing that with all of the money her husband/boyfriend/client spends on steroids and Viagra that he was able to pony up for those seats…

2) We’ll give you one guess as to where that security guard would rather be right now. And if you guessed knee deep in this crazy white bitch’s pussy, then you are correct…

3) And we’ll give you one guess as to what the female security guard is doing in this picture. And if you guessed anything but her job, then you are correct…

4) While we can’t see the face of the young man in the lower left corner of the picture, his suspenders are a dead giveaway that he is a fucking dork. However, he is a big fucking dork with nice fucking seats to this game…

5) Thank Christ that 13-year-old girl in front of this broad is too busy on her iPhone 5 playing Angry Birds, downloading another dog shit Taylor Swift tune, or catfishing Manti Te’o to see this pathetic gesture behind her. And fortunately for her brother, he has now learned at a young age that bitches be crazy…

6) Here’s a fun game to play that we call “Based on what you see, who would you most like to plow?” Since you’re checking out sports blogs instead of doing work again, you have plenty of time to play. In the row behind “Roid Rage and Lindsay Lohan 30 Years From Now,” there are three women wearing jeans. Based on what you see, who would you most like to plow? Scroll down to #8 to see how you did…

7) According to Deadspin, the crazy broad giving Noah the finger has been identified as Filomena Tobias, a woman once accused of killing her fourth husband. Her daughter said that she was “having fun just like any other fan.” It’s funny how much “fun” good-looking older broads can have at sporting events and security personnel just laugh it off and let them enjoy the remainder of the game. But when a dude tries having “fun” like that, this happens:

8 ) Finally, if you were playing the “Based on what you see, who would you most like to plow?” game we outlined at #6, here’s how you did. If you said the girl in the middle is the one you’d most like to plow, congratulations. She is a young, attractive, and very fit woman who looks like she’d be one hell of ride in the sack. If you said the broad on the right is the one you’d most like to plow, congratulations. While she might be in her lower 50′s, she actually looks like she keeps herself is solid shape. Plus at that age, you probably have locked in a squirter. But if you said the one on the left is the one you’d most like to plow, then you might be a homosexual because that’s a dude:

 

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