That’s Two In The Fucking Pink On Your Television Screen

wichita state cheerleaders shocker

by Tommy Gimler

If this picture was from the old HBO show Gang War: Bangin’ In Little Rock, we would have a hard time determining whether the broad in the middle was “beat in or fucked in” to this gang of Wichita State cheerleaders. Jesus…

The Wichita State Shockers’ run to the Final Four has been nothing short of, well, shocking, taking down both the number one (Gonzaga) and number two (Ohio State) seeds in the West Region. Opposing teams haven’t been just bad shooting the ball against the Shockers in the tourney, they’ve been pathetic. Like John Travolta trying to convince the world he’s straight pathetic.

In their first game against Pittsburgh, Wichita State held the Panthers to just 35.2% from the field, including 1 for 17 from beyond the arc (5.9%). Gonzaga finished 21 of 59 (35.6%), La Salle was 20 of 56 (35.7%), and Ohio State was brutal, like Taylor Swift brutal, succumbing to the Shockers after shooting just 31.1% from the field, including 5 of 25 from three-point land.

But even more shocking than the Shockers’ run to the Final Four is how many times CBS shows their cheerleaders giving “The Shocker” to America. And even more shocking than that is just how in the hell that girl on the right in the picture above giving us “The Shocker” made the cheerleading squad. By our account, she is the second worst female cheerleader ever to grace the small screen behind this pig in the middle:

Now, do yourself a favor when you go into the office on Monday and talk about how your bracket is more busted than that skank Becky in accounting. When somebody mentions Wichita State, don’t give them the ol’ “two in the pink, one in the stink” response that everybody else is using. Step it up, son, and use some of these more classy options:

Two in the curtain, one for the hurtin’

Two in the slit, one in the shit

Two for the pumper, one for the dumper

Two in the skunk, one in the funk

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