Nebraska Basketball Is So Pathetic Their Students Rushed The Court When They Beat An Unranked Team

Nebraska Minnesota

by Tommy Gimler

It took us a while, but we finally found a group of people more pathetic than the guys in the band Train.

Even if you’re like 90% of the people in this country and haven’t taken in a minute of college basketball action yet this season, not much has changed since last year. Duke is still overrated, Dick Vitale is still more annoying than jock itch, and the University of Nebraska still has a basketball team and they are still just as awful as Taylor Swift.

Going into last night’s game against Minnesota, Nebraska had only won four Big Ten games, two of them against a Penn State team that shoots the ball about as well Stephen Hawking, they were 0-9 against ranked opponents, and their 58.7 points per game were good for 331st out of 345 Division 1 programs.

Meanwhile, watching Minnesota basketball this year has been the equivalent to dating a bipolar broad. The Golden Gophers are unranked despite having five wins against Top 25 teams, including one against the #1 ranked Indiana Hoosiers last week, their version of Van Wilder playing forward (Trevor Mbakwe is 24 and a sixth-year senior), and a solid 15-2 mark at home. But for as good as Minnesota has been on their home court, they have been equally as bad away from Williams Arena, with their one and only Big Ten road victory coming against Illinois almost two months ago.

So, the table has been set.

A shitty, unranked Minnesota squad went into Lincoln, NE last night to face an even shittier Nebraska team, and believe it or not, over 13,000 people passed on staying home to watch Nashville and actually showed up to watch this Toilet Bowl instead. Thankfully, the game finished, and when it did, both teams had shot less than 40% from the field and scored fewer points than an average WNBA game.

But it was the unranked Huskers who came out on top of the unranked Golden Gophers, prompting this display of idiocy:

How pathetic is that? The answer is almost as pathetic as this:

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2 Responses to Nebraska Basketball Is So Pathetic Their Students Rushed The Court When They Beat An Unranked Team

  1. Jim says:

    This was the last game at their arena so there was a point to this…

  2. tucker says:

    First of all Minnesota has only been unranked for a week and a half, and second you do realize that that was the last game ever to be played in that arena? We are building a new one and the Devany has been around for years. Its not about the win.

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