Hey DUD! Can You Post My Pool For All Of My Buddies To See?


by Tommy Gimler

The NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament starts in less than two hours, and both of our readers are looking for answers to these not so deep questions.

Q: Hey DUD! Do you mind posting these picks for everybody involved in my takeover spread pool to check out?

Murf in Los Angeles

The DUD: We probably would have just sent out an email to everybody, but hey, why not? I think it’s pretty obvious that we’re whores in regards to posting whatever it takes to get hits on our site. I mean, we cover the Brewers pretty heavily, for Christ’s sake.

Murf’s 2013 NCAA Takeover Spread Pool:

JC/Busse – Louisville, Wisconsin, Georgetown, Syracuse

TSean – NC A&T, Ohio St, SDiego St, Colorado

Dexter – Colorado St, Notre Dame, NW St, NC St

Big T – Mizzou, Harvard, Villanova, Davidson

Gim – Okl St, Gonzaga, Michigan, Indiana

TPitt – Oregon, Belmont, WKent, Butler

Jay G – St. Louis, Iona, SDakota St, Illinois

Santos – NMex St, Pitt, Florida, Pacific

JD – Memphis, La Salle, Oklahoma, UNLV

Tom B – St. Marys, Ole Miss, Akron, Cal

Pete – Mich St, Arizona, Kansas, Temple

Joe OB – Valpo, So Univ, UNC, Marquette

Dave/Helm – Creighton, Iowa St, Flo Gulf, Miami

Gary – Cincy, KSt, VCU, Montana

Murf – Duke, Wichita St, Minnesota, JMU

Rob S – Albany, NewMex, UCLA, Bucknell

1) Make the Elite 8, it’s $50, make the Final 4, $100, make the title game, $200, win it all $400 (1600 total)

2) We’re using scoresandodds.com. Whatever the game locks in at right before tipoff, that’s the spread.

**** If the spread is an even number, say 8, then it becomes 8.5 (underdog’s advantage) because we need a winner…

Q: Hey bitch. I’ve got fucking Miami in my pool at work. What do you think about that, bitch?

Brian in Milwaukee

The DUD: Well, considering that most of their guys are older than the average NBA rookie, one dude who turns 25 (that’s halfway to getting a free cup of coffee with your breakfast at Denny’s) in May, and another guy who’s been in school for six fucking years, I would say that it’s safe to say these guys are not going to college to get their “How To Run A Record Label” degree. They are there to do two things: play basketball and get paid by the boosters for doing it. I like them, but they did lose to Georgia Tech at home a few weeks ago, so that’s kind of disturbing. Maybe their arthritis was really acting up that day or something…

Q: Who do you have in your Final Four? I have Indiana, Louisville, Kansas, and Gonzaga.

Dustin in Norwalk

The DUD: You know, it’s funny. My mom picked all four number one seeds as well. The last time all four number one seeds made it to The Final Four was 2008. But before that, it never happened. But in a college basketball season that has been so unpredictable, who says that all four number ones won’t make it? Look, best of luck. I would love to chat more but I have to take a dump…

If you haven’t done so yet, be sure to sign up for The DUD’s Bracket Challenge. The best bracket wins $100:

Here’s how to sign up:

1) Pay nothing. It’s free. How are you not getting that?

2) Click on this link: http://y.ahoo.it/FfLtjFa1

3) Create a bracket. Be sure to use an email address that I can contact you at when you win. Is it a ton of fun to name your bracket “Your Mom’s Hump Hole Smells Like Moth Balls?” Of course it is. But if you don’t use an email address when you sign up, then we can’t contact you to find out where to send the cash.

4) Fill out your bracket sometime before the games start this Thursday.

5) If your bracket finishes with the most points, you win $100. Just don’t tell your bitch wife or you know she’ll take it from you.

That’s it! Please send this on to your friends, family, and fuck buddies. If you have any questions, ask somebody else…

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