by Tommy Gimler
ESPN is giving you yet another reason to locate the mute button on your remote. Now that he has played his last NFL game, Ray Lewis will be joining the four-letter as an analyst, meaning he’ll instantly become the second most unintelligible former player on your television next to Shannon Sharpe. But now that the most annoying player in American professional sports has called it quits, who is out there to take the crown from Lewis? Well, not take. They’ll have to ask nicely so he doesn’t stab them. Anyway, The DUD is here to break that down.
3. Rob Gronkowski – Tight End, New England Patriots
Does this guy own a fucking shirt? Since Super Bowl Sunday last year, there have been at least three separate instances of this clown going to clubs, taking his shirt off, and dancing like he has some form of palsy.
First, there was the much-talked-about dancing episode just hours after the Patriots lost Super Bowl XLVI in Indianapolis:
Then there was this picture taken a few days before this year’s Super Bowl at a bar called Bogie’s in Baton Rouge:
And then there was this video from TMZ of Gronkowski shucking and jiving with a couple of other meatheads on a stage in Vegas yesterday:
What’s even more disturbing is how the dipshits in the front row just continue to watch Gronkowski and a couple of guidos dance around like a couple of Kansas City fagots instead of taking their business to one of the 23 strip clubs that are on the Las Vegas Strip alone.
Who knows? Maybe Gronk has given every single one of his shirts to the porn star formerly known as Bibi Jones. But if that’s the case, then the only picture I want to see of Gronk topless is the one that has her topless in it as well:
2. Manu Ginobili
There’s just something about Manu Ginobili that makes me want to take a deuce in my hand and throw it at him. It could be this:
Or it could be this:
Get the point, yet? This video pretty much sums it up:
Plus, it just looks like Manu Ginobili rots, doesn’t it? Nobody looks like they smell worse than Pau Gasol, but Ginobili can’t be that far behind him.
1. Alex Rodriguez – 3B/DH/Turd, New York Yankees
It’s official. Alex Rodriguez has finally become untrustworthy enough to run for Congress. In February of 2009, Alex Rodriguez gave one of the biggest horse shit interviews to Peter Gammons in regards to his PED use. In an effort to explain why he lied to Katie Couric just over a year earlier and set the record straight on exactly when he took a “banned substance,” all Rodriguez did that day was raise even more questions about what he took, when he took it, and whether or not this guy has ever told the truth to anybody about anything.
In that interview, Rodriguez said that he stopped using PED’s in 2003. But a new report from the Miami New Times suggests that A-Fraud was being injected with PED’s shortly after he gave the Gammons interview in 2009 through last year. You can read that story by clicking here.
But it’s not just the PED use that makes Alex Rodriguez one of the most annoying athletes in professional sports. There was Game 6 of the 2004 ALCS when he bitch slapped the ball out of Bronson Arroyo’s glove while running down the first base line:
Or how about when he yelled “mine” as he ran past Blue Jays third baseman Howie Clark, causing him to drop what would have been the third out of the ninth inning followed by the ridiculous post game interview in which he tries to sell that he said “ha” and didn’t do it until he was already around third base?
And then there was the very public boning of Madonna as well as a stripper in Toronto that led to his divorce:
There’s no way around it. Alex Rodriguez is an annoying piece of dog shit…