This Should Explain How My Head Felt This Morning

drunk

by Tommy Gimler

It could have been that bottle of Pacifico that I pounded down 45 minutes before midnight. Or maybe it was the fact that I had a Budweiser, Coors Light, two different IPA’s, a bottle of beer that someone ripped the label off of and that might have had the end of a Marb Red at the bottom of it, and a shot of Fireball whiskey before that. I’m not sure. All I know is that when I woke up this morning, my head felt like I had been the victim of an eight-hour facesitting sesh with Melissa McCarthy.

Ugh. It hurts too much for me to come up with any other comparisons.┬áso instead of writing anything else, I’ll just let this video of Jadeveon Clowney at today’s Outback Bowl demonstrate how I, along with 62% of Americans, are probably still feeling right now:

Shit, for all I know, that actually might have happened to me sometime last night. But since I blacked out sometime between visiting the local Yum Yum Donuts around 1:45am and waking up wearing just my socks and lying in a puddle of my own sweat on my couch at 3:30am, I guess we’ll never know…

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2 Responses to This Should Explain How My Head Felt This Morning

  1. Mike Gemme says:

    I laid a pop on you like that last night, Gimler, you don’t remember? Just dropped a shoulder and let fly. It was pretty awesome, if I do say so myself. But seriously, dude’s name is Jadevon Clowney? Jadevon? Clowney? That name is intimidating no one.

    • tgim says:

      Dude. You missed your chance. You could have plowed my wife, and I wouldn’t have known. And we’ll see if we can get you to tell Jadevon that to his face. Hahaha.

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