simple jack

by Frank Rhombus

We’re not sure who asked the question. It might have been a midget dressed in a clown suit. It might have been Miss Alabama Katherine Webb, who has all of sudden become the hottest thing since squirter porn. Or it could have been Jay Glazer. We don’t know. But some member of the Super Bowl XLVII asked Baltimore Ravens quarterback Joe Flacco how he felt about the possibility of playing in a cold weather Super Bowl next year, and Flacco uttered three syllables that offended thousands, including of all groups of people, The New York Post. But not us. We think “retarded” pretty much sums up the entire discussion.

For starters, Joe Flacco, unlike most athletes who say stupid shit, caught himself immediately after he said the idea of playing in a cold weather Super Bowl was retarded. He stopped his thought, and his next words were, “I probably shouldn’t say that. I think it’s stupid.” He would later issue a formal apology, and for a guy in his position, that’s more than enough. That’s it. Just like Christian Slater’s career, he’s done.

But leave it to dipshits like Brian Costello at The New York Post to run a story calling him “Joe Wacco” and “Traitor Joe” for his remarks. Really? Is what Flacco said, immediately followed by him catching himself, and later issuing another apology for one slip of the tongue really that offensive, more offensive than this?

Other media outlets said Flacco alienated the country with his comments. And even Bleacher Report published and article entitled “Should The NFL Punish Joe Flacco For ‘Retarded’ Comment?”

What? Should he be punished for saying “retarded?” Have these tards heard what is said by these players every Sunday on the field?

Or by the fans?

Or Randy Moss at the 25-second mark here?

Or Chris Culliver bash gays?

Or Ray Lewis blame his PED use on the devil?

Well, I guess he didn’t say it there, but trust us, it was pretty retarded…

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2 Responses to Retarded

  1. Vinny The Book says:

    Clearly a city like San Francisco has absolutely no tolerance for gay athletes. Chris Culliver was just speaking for the majority in his geographic region.

    In other news….Chris Culliver is cut on Monday.

    • tgim says:

      Hahaha. I think the only other city that would have had more of an issue with his statements is Paris. If he was playing soccer over there and would have said this, his car probably would have blown up when he started it this morning.

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