by Tommy Gimler
Let’s face it. Telling a fat joke is as American as watching condom-free porn. Making fun of fat people is so much fun that even fat people make fun of fat people. But if you’re doing a report on the next head coach of the Kansas City Chiefs, and you’re not Jon Stewart on The Daily Show, then you might want to refrain from doing so.
Here is ESPN’s Ed Werder’s attempt to be funny on yesterday’s edition of SportsCenter:
Um, he uh. there uh, and boom goes the dynamite…
The DUD Breakdown
1) The issue here isn’t that saying Andy Reid would put the plane over its weight limit is rude and/or uncalled for. Let’s be honest. The man is a fucking whale, and the pilots of the Chiefs’ private jet probably would have asked him to sit somewhere in the middle:
2) Werder probably has a worse chance at getting on stage at The Laugh Factory than Michael Richards. If you’re going to come out with a zinger like that, you can’t get nervous both before and after it leaves your pipes. Go back again and listen to the pause right before he comes out with the fat joke and then the obvious stumbling after it. It’s Comedy 101. You have to take your joke, and like an illegal immigrant in Mitt Romney’s workforce, you have to own it.
3) Everybody loves a conspiracy theory, and here is ours in regards to this situation: Ed Werder was told by his producers to say it. Journalism today is just like Christian Ponder’s quarterback play: pathetic. It’s no longer about who does the most in-depth reporting or who covers the story the most accurately. Today’s media thrives on who gets credit for reporting the story first, YouTube hits, and social media discussion.
Think about it. I’ve been watching Ed Werder report on the Cowboys, Brett Favre, and everything else NFL-related since I was in college, and he has the sense of humor of a thumbtack. When you see Ed Werder on your television screen, you know what you’re going to get, and that is a guy with a mustache reporting on what he saw or what he heard, and that’s it. No jokes. Hell, most of the time he doesn’t even smile. So, why after more than 14 years of solid reporting at the four-letter, or as solid as it gets there, would Werder choose this moment to take a crack at Reid’s obesity?
It’s just another example of what ESPN has become, and that is a network concerned with people talking more about them rather than the sports that they cover, and that’s why you are seeing networks like NBC, CBS, and now FOX adding 24-hour sports networks to lure in guys like me who don’t want to hear Skip Bayless link Derek Jeter to PED’s and instead just watch highlights from that night’s sports action.
But if you’re into watching sports reporters stumble over their words before and after unloading a zinger in their report, then it doesn’t get any better than this: