Brewers’ Great Robin Yount Shoots Former Shitty Player And Current Cubs Manager Dale Sveum
by Tommy Gimler
Milwaukee Brewers Hall of Fame outfielder Robin Yount accidentally shot Chicago Cubs manager Dale Sveum this offseason while the two were quail hunting in Arizona. Now if we can just get Yount to take Ozzie Guillen on his next trip, we’ll be making some real progress.
According to MLB.com’s Carrie Muskat, here is what Sveum said of the incident:
The bird went up in front of [Yount] and I was about 50 yards up on the hill. He got the bird up and lost track of where I was and pulled the trigger and was like, “Uh oh.” I was looking for birds myself and he was behind me. I got drilled with pellets in the back and the ear.
The DUD Breakdown
Breaking the rules and doing things differently isn’t something new to Robin Yount. Here’s a guy who used to intentionally bounce his throws to first base when he played shortstop. But according to my wife, Yount broke Hunter’s Safety Rule #1: Make sure that you are certain of your target before you take your shot. That is, make sure that you are shooting at an animal and not a human and that there are no people anywhere near the animal you are shooting at.
Thankfully everyone involved survived the incident without sustaining major injuries or dying. Well, everyone except the bird. We are actually surprised that someone as competitive and talented as Yount would be hunting quail instead of lions, but we assume that when someone of Sveum’s stature or anybody affiliated with the Chicago Cubs tags along, you have to adapt accordingly.
We’re also assuming that Yount is still friends with Sveum just so he can feel like a winner no matter where they go or what they do. I mean, Sveum’s career numbers are embarrassing: .236 average, .298 OBP, 69 home runs over 13 seasons. To put that in perspective, Casey McGehee is a career .257 hitter with a .314 OBP and 61 home runs over five seasons, and we’ve established several times that he is the worst player in baseball.
And finally, what do Justin Bieber, Taylor Swift, Carlos Gomez, Rosie O’Donnell, Rickie Weeks, Wendy Selig-Prieb, Jeff Suppan, Tim McCarver, Jerry Jones, The Situation, Larry The Cable Guy, and Nicki Minaj all have in common? As long as Yount continues to be so careless on these expeditions, they are high on the list of people we hope get an invitation to join him for the next hunt…