Top 5 Teams Michael Vick Could Go To Now That Everyone Else Realizes He Stinks

mike vick

special to The DUD from TheTop5Five

Seriously, I have no idea what he’s smiling about.


You might remember a couple weeks ago I posted this: Top 5 Reasons Mike Vick Stinks as a QB! Well, I have been proven right every week since and he finally got hurt (number 1 on the list). Then in comes Nick Foles, who has never taken a snap in the NFL before, and the dude promptly leads Philly on three scoring drives (2 TD’s and a FG) in a losing effort. He threw for 219 yards, completing 66% of his passes. He did have two turnovers, but again, the dude never played in the NFL before.

How could this happen? Well, maybe Vick just no longer has it. And now that Philly will almost certainly cut  ties with this bum, where should he go?

5. Washington Redskins – Why not? He could be a backup for another up-and-coming QB who can use his legs to score. And if RGIII ever gets a concussion, Vick could step right in and Shanahan wouldn’t even have to change his play calling. This seems like a pretty logical move considering Dan Snyder loves to overpay for players. I am sure they could find some stupid wildcat package for Vick, too.


Is it? Why not have a nice reunion story? He would obviously return as a backup, but the NFL and its fans love a good redemption story. Sure, maybe Arthur Blank and the rest of the franchise has moved on…but I am willing to bet that for some publicity for the team that is crying out for attention despite its 8-1 record, this might be the ticket.

Could this ever happen again?

3. Chicago Bears – Cutler gets hurt a lot. He really does. And the Bears’ backups are Jason Campbell and Josh McCown. Something isn’t working there. And the Bears have to realize their window is closing. They are the oldest team in the league and are only getting older. They have no talent coming up behind their good defense. Their offensive line is just appalling, but that would be nothing new for Vick. He could slide right in behind that line and start running for his life just like in Philly.

2. Oakland Raiders – The crazy thing is the other three teams would clearly use him as a backup. But this team might actually use him as a starter. It isn’t so much that Carson Palmer can’t chuck the ball, it’s more that Vick would fit right in with all the felons in Oakland. Vick could even go out to Denny’s on a Sunday night and smash my van window and steal my backpack with all the other felons in that city! Yes, that really happened to me in Oakland. If I was Vick, I would be calling up that goofy-looking son of Al Davis right now and start asking for estimates. I am sure he could get more there than any other place, too.

1. Cleveland Browns – No, seriously. This is the best option Vick has. This franchise is so bad and so used to losing that no matter what Vick does, he will be heralded as a savior and welcomed with open arms. Their rookie QB is already almost 30 (Vick is 32), and he isn’t THAT good. But Vick could instantly put butts in the seats in Cleveland and maybe even win them a couple games. But even if Vick happens to get close to some wins and then somehow manages a way to lose the game for them, Browns fans probably wouldn’t take it too personally. Chances are they would just forgive Vick and look forward to next week. Because after all, what do Cleveland sports fans really have? The Cavs? The Indians? Vick, even an old, terrible looking, slow, banged up Vick, might be just the thing they need to be excited about any of their sports again…(And yes, I purposefully ignored the fact that Vick would be playing his games in the Dawg Pound!…Make your own jokes in the comments)

One thing is for sure: Mike Vick is still better than Donavan McNabb…

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