by Rakesh The Intern
Check it out, bro. I do unpaid internship here at Daily Upper Decker, but my boss say, “Hey Rakesh. If you can pick NFL games better than everybody else, I give you fifty bucks.” So, since the last time I made fifty dollar I had to eat camel liver, I say, “You got it, my friend.”
Here are the rules, bro:
1) In the comments section below, pick winner of each game, beginning with this Thursday’s Bills/Dolphins contest, bro.
2) Put your name and real email address when you sign in, bro. This is the only way I can get you your money if you win, my friend. My boss say he will not contact you with any other offers or pills to make your junk big, bro.
2) There are 14 games this week, my friend. The pick you are most confident about, bro, you put 14 point next to it. The one you are totally like guessing at or picking upset or whatever you call it in this country, that is where you put 1 point.
3) If there is tie between two or three or seven people, bro, then whoever posted their picks first will be the winner.
4) You must beat my picks, bro. I get fifty dollar from my boss if I am better than everybody else.
5) Picks must be in before the start of this Thursday’s Bills/Dolphins game (8:20PM Eastern/5:20PM Pacific), bro.
Here are this week’s games, my friend. Good luck or whatever you call it:
Miami at Buffalo
Green Bay at Detroit
Arizona at Atlanta
Tampa Bay at Carolina
Cleveland at Dallas
Philadelphia at Washington
New York Jets at St. Louis
Cincinnati at Kansas City
Jacksonville at Houston
New Orleans at Oakland
San Diego at Denver
Indianapolis at New England
Baltimore at Pittsburgh
Chicago at San Francisco
Check it out, bro. Here are my picks:
14 – New England
13 – Houston
12 – Atlanta
11 – Green Bay
10 – Dallas
9 – Buffalo
8 – Tampa Bay
7 – Baltimore
6 – New Orleans
5 – Denver
4 – St. Louis
3 – Washington
2 – Kansas City
1 – Chicago
Killer bro.
14 – Houston
13 – Atlanta
12 – Denver
11 – New England
10 – Dallas
09 – Tampa Bay
08 – Green Bay
07 – Washington
06 – Cincinnati
05 – San Francisco
04 – New Orleans
03 – Buffalo
02 – St. Louis
01 – Baltimore
14 – Huston
13 – Atlanta
12 – New Orleans
11 – Dallas
10 – Denver
9 – Tampa Bay
8 – New England
7 – Cincinnati
6 – St. Louis
5 – Miami
4 – Green Bay
3 – Philly
2 – 49′ers
1 – Baltimore
14- Houston
13- Atlanta
12- New Orleans
11- Baltimore
10- Dallas
9- Cincinnati
8- Denver
7- New England
6- St. Louis
5- Tampa
4- Buffalo
3- Chicago
2- Green Bay
1- Washington (yep…I hope you get fired you fucking Walrus)
Hahaha. God bless Eagles fans. You don’t see Browns fans this upset, and you’ve only sucked for two years!
The Browns also don’t pay $100M to a QB.
Here you go, my friend:
14 – Atlanta
13 – Dallas
12 – Houston
11 – New England
10 – Cincinnati
9 – New Orleans
8 – Denver
7 – Tampa Bay
6 – St. Louis
5 – Baltimore
4 – Washington
3 – Buffalo
2 – Detroit
1 – Chicago
14 – Houston
13 – Dallas
12 – Denver
11 – Green Bay
10 – New England
9 – Atlanta
8 – St. Louis
7 – Washington
6 – Cincinnati
5 – New Orleans
4 – Chicago
3 – Pittsburgh
2 – Buffalo
1 – Carolina
Houston 14
Tampa Bay 13
Atlanta 12
New Orleans 11
Green Bay 10
St. Louis 9
Cincinnati 8
Denver 7
Dallas 6
Buffalo 5
Philadelphia 4
Indianapolis 3
Baltimore 2
Chicago 1
Atlanta 14
Green Bay
Miami
Tampa bay
Dallas
St. Louis
Cincy
Houston
Oakland
Denver
New England
Baltimore
Sanfrancisco
Washington 1
Buffalo – 6
Atlanta – 13
Carolina – 2
Dallas – 14
Greenbay – 7
Houston – 12
Cincinnati – 8
St. Louis – 4
Wahington – 1
New Orleans – 11
Denver – 10
New England – 9
Baltimore – 5
San Francisco – 3
Baltimore 14
Atlanta 13
Buffalo 12
Green Bay 11
New Orleans 10
Houston 9
Dallas 8
New England 7
Washington 6
Cincinnati 5
Tampa Bay 4
Denver 3
St. Louis 2
San Francisco 1
14. Houston
13. New Orleans
12. Atlanta
11. New England
10. Dallas
9. Tampa Bay
8. Green Bay
7. Denver
6. Cincinnati
5. Buffalo
4. Washington
3. St. Louis
2. Baltimore
1. Chicago
New Orleans 14
Dallas 13
Green Bay 12
Baltimore 11
Denver 10
Atlanta -9
Houston 8
Tampa Bay 7
New England 6
Cincy 5
Miami 4
Washington 3
St Louis 2
San Fran 1
14-Houston
13-New England
12 -Green Bay
11-Atlanta
10-Tampa
9-New Orleans
8-Denver
7-Dallas
6-Philadelphia
5-St. Louis
4-Baltimore
3-Buffalo
2-Kansas City
1-Chicago
14 – Cleveland (that’s right)
13 – Houston
12 – Denver
11 – New England
10 – Atlanta
09 – Tampa Bay
08 – Green Bay
07 – Washington
06 – Cincinnati
05 – Chicago
04 – New Orleans
03 – Buffalo
02 – St. Louis
01 – Baltimore
Bills 3
Packers 11
Falcons 13
Buccaneers 6
Cowboys 5
Eagles 1
Cardinals 4
Chiefs 2
Texans 12
Saints 8
Chargers 10
Patriots 14
Steelers 7
Bears 9
Fins 4
Packers of the fudge 12
Confederates 10
Pirate team from that state that looks like a dong 5
Color of poop team 8
Not a team with a concussed dog abuser 9
Foot fetishers 7
That red team from the middle of the country 6
Team from George Bush oil land that will probably win it all 13
Team with gay looking people in costume 1 (oh… Raiders)
Eli’s smarter brother’s team 3
God’s Team 14
That team w/ the hurt guy (the angry black hurt guy, not the honkey rapist) 11
The one with the heart-attack fans from SNL 2
Houston 14
Green Bay 13
Atlanta 12
Denver 11
New England 10
Dallas 9
St. Louis 8
Tampa Bay 7
Washington 6
Cinncy 5
New Orleans 4
Baltimore 3
Buffalo 2
San Francisco 1
Dallas – 14
Houston – 13
Denver – 12
New Orleans – 11
Atlanta – 10
New England – 9
Cincinnati – 8
Tampa Bay – 7
St. Louis – 6
Washington – 5
Baltimore – 4
Green Bay -3
Buffalo -2
Chicago – 1
Houston 14
Atlanta 13
Cincinnati 12
Dallas 11
New Orleans 10
Green Bay 9
New Englund 8
Buffalo 7
Tampa Bay 6
Baltimore 5
San Francisco 4
Denver 3
New York Jets 2
Washington 1
14 Houston
13 Atlanta
12 New Orleans
11 Green Bay
10 Cincinnati
9 New England
8 Dallas
7 Denver
6 San Francisco
5 Baltimore
4 Carolina
3 St. Louis
2 Philadelphia
1 Buffalo
14. Bills 13. Bills 12. Bills 11. Bills 10. Bills 9. Bills 8. Bills 7. Bills 6. Bills 5. Bills 4. Bills 3. Bills 2. Buffalo 1. Bills
It would seem as though Dutch has failed to grasp the concept of this contest and/or is hammered. Either way, hilarious.