by Tommy Gimler
Did Terrell Owens catch Seattle Seahawks’ GM John Schneider giving Tavaris Jackson a beej in the men’s room at The Zig Zag Cafe?
Because I can’t come up with any other plausible reason as to why the 38-year-old wide receiver was signed to the squad yesterday. And for a cool million, nonetheless.
Owens hasn’t played in the NFL since 2010 when he and his obese ego were members of the Cincinnati Bengals. And even then his transformation into just another mediocre athlete with problems paying his child support was obvious.
Over his final six games, Owens averaged not even three catches and 35.5 yards per game. I mean, sure, Owens was impressive with the Allen Wranglers of the Indoor Football League, going for 10 touchdowns in 11 games. But that would be the equivalent to me blogging about how I shredded the Dayton Downs for 523 yards and 8 TD’s in a Special Olympics preliminary round game last week.
No real football team wanted Owens on their roster last year. So, when the Wranglers gave Owens a chance to prove himself among other rejects, one would have thought that Owens would have been on his best behavior, hoping that some NFL squad would take notice and bring him on board. Wrong. Owens was released after no-showing for some sick kids at a local children’s hospital and expressing his “lack of interest” in playing the team’s final two road games.
And this is the guy the Seahawks want to be Sidney Rice’s compliment this year? What happens if it’s too cold in Chicago for him when the Bears host the Seahawks? Or what if Matt Flynn targets Ben Obomanu three more times than him in week one?
Maybe Pete Carroll and the front office have a bet going as to who will drop more passes, Owens or Braylon Edwards. Or maybe it’s who will be the bigger distraction, Owens and his antics or Edwards getting sauced before he rolls through downtown Tacoma. Hey, throw in Marshawn Lynch, and you have enough material to start TMZ Seattle Seahawks.
Or maybe the Seahawks are just trying to sell more preseason tickets. I’m not sure. But I hope for their sake they didn’t bring him on board to produce, because it’s not going to happen. And that’s because Terrell Owens, both the washed up football player and the human being, is a joke…