by Tommy Gimler

All hail! The king of the dorks is dead!

An 18-year-old gamer from Taiwan known only as Chuang has died after playing Diablo III for 40 consecutive hours. Not much else is being released about his life, probably because he didn’t have one.

After checking into a local internet cafe, Chuang proceeded to play the hit PC game for 40 consecutive hours until an employee found him asleep at his station. He briefly woke up but then passed back out after taking a few steps. I’m assuming he was heading toward the vending machine to get another Monster and some more Fritos.

Apparently this isn’t the first gamer death in Taiwan this year. Another dork died in February after a three-day sesh playing the game League of Legends. The best part of this “tragedy” is that his fellow players didn’t discover that their buddy was dead for another nine hours. Wow! How great this game must be! You can’t buy better advertising than that.

I suppose in both cases you can say that these nerds would have wanted to go out this way. Personally, I’d rather meet my maker the same way a Russian mechanic did back in 2009. Two sluts bet Sergey Tuganov $4,300 that he couldn’t have sex with them for 12 consecutive hours. Minutes after winning the bet, Tuganov’s heart exploded, presumably from the bottle of Viagra pills that he swallowed.

It’s like they say in the commercials, “If you experience an erection lasting longer than four hours, go for the gold…”