by Tommy Gimler
From Elaina in Sausalito, CA:
Are you out of your fucking mind? You hate the Olympics? Who says that?
Do you also have a hatred for rare animals? I suppose you also hate butterflies. You’re probably the guy who sees a beautiful monarch or an innocent hummingbird fly right past you, and then you crush it with your rolled up Hustler. If a bald eagle flies overhead, do you grab your shotgun and take it out before it craps on your Saturn?
I agree that the opening ceremony was lame. I mean, from Industrialization to Mary Poppins to Harry Potter? What the fuck was that about? But overall, I love the Olympics. From swimming to gymnastics, these rare yet challenging sports get the spotlight once every four years, and you have to shit on their moment?
Cheer up, and be a real American. Get behind your country, and cheer them on to victory.