by Tommy Gimler

The American League got raped by the National League tonight, and I mean worse than Jodie Foster in The Accused raped. No pinball machine with fun noises. Just hammered behind some shed outside of Wichita raped.

But since we’re usually “glass half full” kind of guys at The DUD, the one positive for the AL tonight came in the bottom of the sixth inning when Mike Trout singled up the gut off the first pitch he saw from R.A. Dickey, becoming the third youngest player in the history of the game to get a hit at the All-Star Game. He would later walk against Aroldis Chapman, who managed to walk back to the NL dugout at the end of the inning instead of somersaulting.

Since bursting onto the scene April 28th, Mike Trout has been the best player in baseball. He leads the AL with a .341 average to go along with his 12 HR, 57 runs, 40 RBI, and 26 SB. If I had to pick one guy to plow my sister two weeks before she gets married, this is the guy.

But to hell with us. What do you think?