by Tommy Gimler
Almost two months ago, we learned that the average American girl knows absolutely nothing about sports.
But as I drive up to my bachelor party and listen to my good buddy Marc Martin try to talk about how bad Kobe Bryant played in the NBA Finals last week, I’m realizing that it might not be just the broads who are ignorant when it comes to American sports.
Q: Who won the 1994 World Series?
Marc: Yankees, but maybe it’s the Reds. The Cubs have never won a World Series, so it’s not them. We were in high school, so it might be the Twins. But it has to be the Yankees. Yeah, Yankees.
Q: How many extra innings are played by major league baseball teams before the game is called a tie?
Marc: The answer is unlimited, unless you’re playing in Milwaukee for the All-Star Game.
Q: What team did Ernie Banks play for?
Marc: Ernie Banks, was he a white guy? Dallas? No, that’s wrong. Cubs. Final. Cubs.
Q: How many combined Super Bowls have Tom Brady, Peyton Manning, and Dan Marino won?
Marc: Marino has won none. Peyton Manning, I think, has one. Tom Brady has three. I don’t know. They were on fire a couple of years ago. So, four is my answer.
Q: What NFL team’s head coach was recently suspended for the entire 2012 season?
Marc: The head coach of the Saints.
Q: What team does Tim Tebow play for?
Marc: Denver. No. The Jets. Yeah, of course, it’s the Jets. He’s always played for the Jets. Or wait. Some of the time.
Q: How many minutes are played in a regulation NBA game?
Marc: 60. 15 in every quarter, but it also depends on fouls and timeouts.
Q: So, how many games does a team need to win in the Stanley Cup Finals to take home the Cup?
Marc: Don’t they play just one? No, four. Wait, I know hockey. They play a best-of-five series. Three.
Q: What does ERA stand for in baseball?
Marc: Earned Run Average
Q: What golfer has won the most Masters tournaments?
Marc: Jack Nicklaus
Marc: All right, now I have a question for you. What is the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies?
Me: I have no idea.
Marc: You can’t unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.