by Tommy Gimler

“You’re not the first guy I’ve seen choke?”

The guy who directed the latest Fathead commercial starring Justin Verlander must have been a White Sox fan:

First off, who taught this clown how to eat chicken wings? If you’re going to put the entire wing in your mouth, then you don’t deserve the magic of a Fathead coming to life to save yours. That’s why I don’t fault his buddy for being pissed and waiting for a Verlander heater to save his friend instead of taking action himself.

Second, it’s not as much the words themselves, but the way Verlander looks at Dave and basically tells him, “Hey, when the rest of these people are gone, I’ll give you something else to choke on.” You know they had to do about twenty takes of that line, and this is the best they could come up with? I can just see the director saying, “OK, Justin. We’re pretty sure that we have what we’re looking for, but just in case, let’s do it one more time. And this time, pretend you’re Adam Lambert.”

Personally, if I was a douchebag and had a fathead, and it looked at me like that, I’d throw him out the window or put it in my brother’s room. Either that or I would be sure to chew my food…