by Tommy Gimler
In real sports news, the biggest story of the day is the Cleveland Indians sweep of the Detroit Tigers. But if you want people to read your blog, you have to write a post on an NFL wide receiver tweeting his HIV test results.
That’s right. How do you get the media to cover you when you have no talent? You guessed it. You tweet your HIV test results. And that is exactly what Buffalo Bills WR and New York Jets reject David Clowney did this week:
Great news, ladies who have slept with David Clowney! He also doesn’t have Hepatitis C! You’re in the clear.
Apparently amassing 22 total receptions over your five-year career isn’t wrecking women’s panties like it used to for the Bills wideout, so he posted his results online to let the ladies of Buffalo know that he’s clean. That, or some agent or PR person concocted the idea in the hopes of David Clowney becoming a household name.
Personally, I would love to see a picture of the last broad Clowney plowed before the test. You know, the one where he woke up the next day and said, “Oh God. Uh oh. I, um, might need to get checked out.”
The Bills first home game of the 2012 season is September 16th against the Chiefs, but there is still no word as to whether or not the first 20,000 fans will receive free prophylactics as part of “David Clowney Condom Day.” I’m also guessing that they don’t make condoms big enough to cover a football, so that rules out the possibility of Clowney doing it for a touchdown celebration, if he ever finds the end zone again…
