by J. LaSussa

So after the Miami Heat’s victory on Sunday, CBS reporter Greg Doyel asked Heat Head Coach Erik Spoelstra (paraphrasing), “Why don’t LeBron and D-Wade play with the ‘force” and ‘will’ they showed tonight?”

Pretty fair question, as at one point on Sunday LeBron and Wade combined for 49 out of the Heat’s 51 points.  Spoelstra’s cliched answer to Doyle?  ”You ever play this game?”

That question coming from sports coaches and players to the media really pisses me off.  First of all, Mr. Spolestra, I collected NBA sports cards as a child, and I’ve never seen one of you.  Why?  Because you also never played the game.  As a matter of fact, one could contest that if you weren’t in the “Lucky Sperm Club,” you would have never gotten a lick to coach in the NBA.  That’s right, your daddy was an NBA executive for 4 different teams in the NBA.  So don’t act all high and mighty and question other’s credentials.

Better yet, I would love if just one time when a meathead basketball coach or dumbass football coach asks a reporter if they’ve ever played the game, if that reporter would turn around and ask the coach/player if they’ve ever written a news article.  I’d say out of the four major sports the percentage that have would be less than 5%.  Or ask LeBron if he’s ever written a college paper.  Hey Spolestra, I’ve never been the President of the United States.  You mind if I vote this year?  Why does anybody have to have played in the NBA to have an opinion or ask a question if you can coach in the Association and never have played in the NBA?

Miami Heat, nobody hates because you because you’re good and a villain like the NY Yankees, Duke Blue Devils, or Dallas Cowboys.  Everybody hates you because you don’t show any class whether you win or lose. You think Dwyane Wade can miss a shot this series and not grimace or shake his “injured” hand?  Hey LeBron, try to act the same way whether you win or lose a game for once.  Or stick around for a second and congratulate the team that just beat you.

Have I ever played the game, LeBron?  No, but I have as many fucking NCAA and NBA championships as you do, bitch…