Semi-Bold Predictions For The NBA Playoffs

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by Dave Iacch “The Voice of No Reason,” J.P. “The Big Dipper,” and t.i. “the little dipper”

 

- The Philadelphia 76ers might as well be called the 69ers because they are going to suck until their playoff run poops in their mouth.

 

- The Memphis Grizzlies will beat the Vinny Del Negro (he’s white by the way) led Los Angeles Clippers in 6 games.  Game 6 will end when Blake Griffin misses a dunk that bounces all the way to half court where Mike Conley Jr will grab it and feed Tony Allen for game ending three-pointer.  Grizzlies 98, Clippers 96.

 

- Manu Ginobili will slash, dash, and crash to the hoop with a scoop-a-loop for the game winner in round one, game two-ba-doopy-do. Spurs 103, Jazz 101.

 

- Derek Rose will break Ray Allen’s ankle in the 2nd round with a killer crossover.  Da Bulls will beat the Celtics in 6, the Heat in 7, and the Lakers in 6 to win the championship.  Rip Hamilton will average 17 points, 4 rebounds, and 4 assists per game.

 

- The Knicks play the Heat in the NBA’s dream first round match up.  You might be wondering who the top selling jersey is in this series is.  Carmelo Anthony, NO.  Dwayne Wade, NO.  Tyson Chandler, NO.  Mario Chalmers, NO.  Jeremy Lin, YES.  It’s like Ichiro getting voted into the MLB All-Star Game each season.  The Asians are a powerful and populous people.

 

- A Portland Trail Blazers fan, wearing a Greg Oden jersey will kill himself after he watches Kevin Durant score 55 points in game one versus the Mavericks.

 

- I am not going to make a Metta World Peace joke because that is more played than Michael Jordan’s game winner over Craig Ehlo in 1989.

 

- Orlando is playing Indiana…I would rather watch Charles Barkley wipe his butt after he visits an Old Country Buffet.  But seriously, Indiana is the real deal.  David West, Danny Granger, and Roy Hibbert are going to push Juwan Howard and the Miami Heat to 7 games.  But, they will have to wait until next year to get further in the playoffs.

 

- The Bobcats will keep on losing.

 

- The smelliest player in the NBA, Dirk Nowitzki will have 12 rebounds and 10 points in Game 1 versus the Thunder.

 

- Kevin Bacon’s Playoff Prediction from The Air Up There:
Round 1: Bulls over 76ers, Heat over Knicks, Pacers over Magic, Hawks over Celtics, Jazz over Spurs, Thunder over Mavericks, Lakers over Nuggets, Grizzlies over Clippers.
Round 2: Bulls over Hawks, Heat over Pacers, Grizzlies over Jazz, Lakers over Thunder
Conference Finals: Bulls over Heat, Lakers over Grizzlies
Finals: Bulls over Lakers in 7.
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2 Responses to Semi-Bold Predictions For The NBA Playoffs

  1. Gary D says:

    Although I love the idea of Rose breaking Allen’s ankle in rd 2, I do not love that you spelled Rose’s name wrong, you silly son of a bitch (it’s Derrick).

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