by AppleSkosh

In an unprecedented turn of events, NCAA President Mark Emmert took back the 2012 men’s basketball national championship trophy moments after the CBS televised coverage wrapped up Monday night in New Orleans.

“It is clear that it is going to happen at some point,” Emmert stated to a shocked coach John Calipari in the Wildcat locker room. “Marcus Camby thinks this whole deal is a bit sketchy.”

It was a minor miracle that Emmert even reached the coach through the throngs of agents, hookers, and entourages already servicing the UK members that declared for the NBA draft seconds after the final buzzer sounded. As Calipari handed over the hardware he did so with a smile on his face. “At least now I can be associated with the vacating of an actual championship ‘USC-style.’ No more of this Fab-Five bullshit. Third time’s a charm baby!!”

In a similar (but unrelated) story Cam Newton heard a knock on his door…