9 Thoughts Heading Into The NHL Playoffs

barry melrose

by Dave Iacch “The Voice Of No Reason”

1. Barry Melrose’s mullet: That party in the back is greasier than Bartolo Colon’s ass crack after running a half marathon.

2. The Detroit Red Wings not winning one game!  The Predators (and I’m not talking about Jeffrey “Principal Rooney from Ferris Buehler’s Day Off” Jones, who likes kiddie porn) from Nashville will sweep the Detroit.  I mean, the Lions and Tigers are really good; Detroit can’t handle too much positivity at once.

3. I hope the Bruins lose early, ’cause I can’t stand Boston fans!

4. The LA Kings will upset the Canucks of Dumbcouver in 7 games.  The only Twins that will have a winning record in the postseason will be Arnold and Devito…Did you hear they might be making a sequel to the 80’s classic?  It’s called Triplets and could star Arnold, Devito, and Eddie Murphy!  That gets my hockey stick to stand straight up.

5. The Washington Capitals are led by a Russian, Alexander Ovechkin…That doesn’t seem very patriotic to me.   Washington loses in 5 to the New York Rangers.

6. The best series of the first round is the battle of Pennsylvania: The Penguins vs. the Flyers.  This series is gonna give John Buccigross a hard on the size of Delaware.  Whoever survives this series will make it to the Stanley Cup.  My fake money is on the Flyers from Philly.  P.S. Why do all the Pittsburgh teams have the same colors?

7. There will be 47 concussions in the first round.

8. The city of Winnipeg still can’t be found on Google Maps.

9. The Chicago Blackhawks lucked into the easiest path to the Stanley Cup.  They face and will beat the Phoenix Coyotes in the first round.  Then they will dismantle the St. Louis Blues in 6 games.  In the Conference Championship, Patrick Kane’s overtime goal will end the Predators great run in 7 games.  Finally, in a Cup rematch from a few years earlier, the Blackhawks will beat the Flyers in 6 games.

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2 Responses to 9 Thoughts Heading Into The NHL Playoffs

  1. Mike Gemme says:

    Regarding #3, I resemble that remark. Oh, and it’s Stanley Cup Champion Bruins to you, buddy.

  2. Corby LeGault says:

    not bad i think you went 9 for 10.

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