by Tommy Gimler
Gregg Williams might want to leave those glasses on to protect his eyes from the shitstorm coming his way.
The NFL announced last week that a two-year investigation has revealed a “bounty program” that paid New Orleans Saints defensive players if they took out the opposing team’s players. Questionable hits on Kurt Warner and Brett Favre during the Saints’ Super Bowl run are at the forefront of the league’s investigation, and Peter King reported last week that Jonathan Vilma offered to pay $10,000 to any player who took Favre out of the game. I think it’s safe to say that Williams will have to dish out quite a bit more than that to the league office.
Every football fan is going to have an opinion on this one. Vikings fans will use it as some sorry form of vindication that their team was the real NFC champion. I’m not kidding. Some turd has already wasted our time with an article on whether or not the Queens would have beaten the Colts in the Super Bowl.
Some will acknowledge that it’s been a part of the game for years, and it’s not really a big deal. Hell, ESPN used to celebrate big hits like the one on Warner with a god-awful segment entitled “Jacked Up.” Roger Goodell put the kibosh on that a few years ago, and now we’re left “C’mon Man,” a somehow worse excerpt that makes “Jacked Up” look like Pulitzer Prize award-winning journalism.
I personally don’t care about the bounty program. Odds are the players nowadays are being fined higher dollar amounts than what Vilma is dishing out. I’m more upset with the fact the Saints didn’t mutilate the following players:
Jay Cutler – QB, Chicago Bears
If it’s true that Jay Cutler pouts while making love, imagine the display we would have gotten in week 2 last year if Roman Harper would have taken out Cutler instead of Earl Bennett.
A.J. Hawk – LB, Green Bay Packers
I know the bounty was only on the other team’s offensive players, but the Saints really let down all Packers fans in week 1. It’s still a possibility because he’s A.J. Hawk, but it’s hard for A.J. Hawk to blow a coverage when he’s on the bench.
Paul McQuistan – OG, Cleveland Browns
Look at this piece of shit. You have to assume two things here. 1) His mother is a cousin of Mary Todd Lincoln. 2) She got knocked up by an orangutan, and this was the result. Either way, I’m done with this bag of Sun Chips after looking at him.
October 20, 2010 – McQuistan signed with the Cleveland Browns.
October 24, 2010 – The Saints fail to take out the ugliest man the NFL has ever seen when they take on the Browns in a week 7 matchup. I mean, Jesus. Look at how ugly this guy is.