Remember When Matt Kemp Didn’t Suck?

Published by rhombus on April 22nd, 2014

by Frank Rhombus

Matt Kemp is having another dog shit night at the plate against A.J. Burnett and the Phillies, one that has seen the Dodgers center fielder strike out for the 18th time in just 15 games and his batting average fall below the Medoza Line. And that got us thinking, “Wasn’t Matt Kemp supposed to be good?” (more…)

An American Man Won The Boston Marathon Today For The First Time Since 1983

Published by tgim on April 21st, 2014

by Frank Rhombus

Granted, his name sounds about as American as that of a 7-Eleven employee, but Meb Keflezighi became the first American male to win the Boston Marathon since 1983. And in doing so, he gave Bostonians and the nation the type of ending usually manufactured by those queers in Hollywood. (more…)

Sunday Night Funnies

Published by tgim on April 20th, 2014

by Tommy Gimler

Our new DUD series Sunday Night Funnies debuts with five short shots at some of the haps of a wild sports weekend, and it’s awesome, brah. We’ll even go as far to say it’ll be funnier than Schindler’s List, and that’s a fucking guarantee… (more…)

The Miami Heat Will 3-Peat So Tell Me Something Else About The NBA Playoffs DUDcast

Published by tgim on April 19th, 2014

by Tommy Gimler, Barry Murphy, and Mandatory’s Gary Dudak

We get together for a podcast almost as often as Melissa McCarthy sheds a few pounds, so when we actually take the time to gather around the kitchen table with a bottle of Johnnie Walker Black Label and 18 retro cans of Miller Lite and talk some shop, you know it’s going to be a winner. (more…)

A Backup Catcher Is Apparently The Real Life Roy Hobbs

Published by tgim on April 18th, 2014

by Tommy Gimler

Unless you live in the Milwaukee or Pittsburgh metropolitan areas, odds are you weren’t tuned into the Brewers-Pirates game because you were busy doing anything else. But in the sixth inning of their 5-3 win, Brewers backup catcher Martin Maldonado reached first base after literally knocking the cover off the ball. (more…)

The Arizona Diamondbacks Are Fucking Terrible

Published by tgim on April 17th, 2014

by Tommy Gimler

Sure, they’re just 1/9 of the way into their season, but at 4-14, the Arizona Diamondbacks are off to their worst start in franchise history, and that’s saying something since their squad in 2004 was so pig shit awful that they lost 111 games. (more…)