by Tommy Gimler
Need further proof that the NBA is more fixed than my wife’s purse dog? Joey Crawford, the ref who was once suspended for an entire postseason after ejecting Tim Duncan for laughing, will be in control of tonight’s game. (more…)
The American League Wins Leader Is Bartolo Colon And That’s Pretty Fucking Sad
by Tommy Gimler
In case you’re not paying attention to the Oakland Athletics, and because they’re the Oakland Athletics we’re assuming you aren’t, the American League leader in wins is Bartolo Colon, a 40-year-old convicted cheater who was a piece of pig shit before he started receiving injections of PEDs. (more…)
Literally, Here’s A Shitty Sunday Evening Story
by Tommy Gimler
We can only imagine that it smelled like a cross between Roseanne Barr’s hump hole and Kirk Douglas’s diapers when the Mariners and Athletics made their way for the showers following the A’s 10-2 ass pounding at the Oakland Coliseum this afternoon only to find their locker rooms flooded with sewage and stank water. (more…)
Matt Kemp Is Actually A Piece Of Shit
by Tommy Gimler
Sure, Matt Kemp is a hell of guy when he knows somebody is filming him give his jersey and shoes to a cancer patient. And seriously, that was a hell of a gesture. But how is he when a Pirates fan is snapping photos of him outside of PNC Park after a rare Dodgers victory? According to this shitty video, he’s an asshole: (more…)
NFL Over/Unders Are Out And Somehow They Have The Jets Winning 6.5 Games
by Tommy Gimler
Whether or not the fact that my honeymoon fund is suddenly missing a few hundred bucks is somehow related to The DUD’s upcoming trip to Vegas this weekend has yet to be proven. And after seeing how many games the Las Vegas Hotel and Casino is expecting the New York Jets to win this year, the honeymoon fund might just wind up being empty. (more…)
Chargers Fans Hope Ryan Matthews Dies Of AIDS
by Tommy Gimler
Nobody has ever considered San Diego Chargers fans of being the best fans in the world, probably because, much like Lennay Kekua, they don’t exist. I mean, odds are if you ever come across a dude wearing a Chargers hat, you’re looking at either a fucking bum or a guy who just signed up for the Discover card. (more…)
Latest Comments: Feel Free to Chime In
{ Oh, we're just tickling the taint with this Murf. There will be much more to follow in August, bitch... } – Jun 14, 9:46 PM
{ Futures???? Without me???? You son of a bitch! You got some nerve teasing me with this article... Especially with the Cup Finals and Hoops Finals... } – Jun 14, 1:29 PM
{ I'd bet the Cards squeak out 6 wins...any takers? } – Jun 14, 11:05 AM
{ There is nothing funny about dying of AIDS unless it's a Raiders fan we're talking about. } – Jun 13, 4:25 PM
The DUD RSS Feed
- Ass Clown Joey Crawford Is Reffing Game 6 So Load Up On The Heat
- The American League Wins Leader Is Bartolo Colon And That’s Pretty Fucking Sad
- Literally, Here’s A Shitty Sunday Evening Story
- Matt Kemp Is Actually A Piece Of Shit
- NFL Over/Unders Are Out And Somehow They Have The Jets Winning 6.5 Games
- Chargers Fans Hope Ryan Matthews Dies Of AIDS
- Fuck LeBron And The NBA – Here’s Teddy Westside’s Stanley Cup Finals Preview
- The Best Video Of A Bike Race Crash Of All Time
- Just When You Thought Pacman Jones Was Worthless, He Punches A Woman And Totally Redeems Himself
- Turd Watch: Ike Davis Sent To Triple A Las Vegas