West Virginia Quarterback Says His First Kiss Was With Nick Saban’s Daughter

by Tommy Gimler Yeah, that’s probably something you should said after you played Alabama, brah. More »

Nobody Wants To Play For The Raiders? More Like Nobody Wants To Answer Your Stupid Fucking Poll, ESPN

by Frank Rhombus The four-letter reported yesterday that “the Raiders are the least desirable team to play for in the NFL,” but their conclusion was based solely on a recent poll they administered to more than one hundred current NFL players, in which they asked “The only way I’d play for [team name] is More »

Is There Anything Worse Than A Grown Man Who Can’t Read?

by Tommy Gimler The answer, of course, is yes. Hundreds of things, actually. Nuclear war, getting teabagged by your grandpa, and syphilis are just a few things that quickly come to mind. Still, Floyd Mayweather having a reading level that falls somewhere between Dexter Manley and a six-year-old kid with Downs is pretty More »

Shannon Sharpe Has the Best Unit in NFL History

by Eddie Bagelstein If you read a story with the following lead sentence, what might you infer that story is about? The current dominance of the Seahawks’ secondary made us wonder: Who are the best units in league history?  Shannon Sharpe’s double Coke-can cock, right? More »

The Sports World Was So Pathetic Yesterday That The Jets Third String Quarterback Doing A Salsa Dance In A Preseason Game Was A Big Deal

by Frank Rhombus Of course, ESPN had the breaking news of Johnny Manziel dropping a deuce at a local Waffle House, but other than that, Matt Fucking Sims doing a salsa dance after throwing a meaningless touchdown had sports blogs from Busted Coverage to Deadspin creaming their shorts. More »

 

West Virginia Quarterback Says His First Kiss Was With Nick Saban’s Daughter

kristen saban

by Tommy Gimler

Yeah, that’s probably something you should said after you played Alabama, brah.

Nobody Wants To Play For The Raiders? More Like Nobody Wants To Answer Your Stupid Fucking Poll, ESPN

mark davis

by Frank Rhombus

The four-letter reported yesterday that “the Raiders are the least desirable team to play for in the NFL,” but their conclusion was based solely on a recent poll they administered to more than one hundred current NFL players, in which they asked “The only way I’d play for [team name] is if they doubled my salary.”

Is There Anything Worse Than A Grown Man Who Can’t Read?

50 cent floyd mayweather can't read

by Tommy Gimler

The answer, of course, is yes. Hundreds of things, actually. Nuclear war, getting teabagged by your grandpa, and syphilis are just a few things that quickly come to mind. Still, Floyd Mayweather having a reading level that falls somewhere between Dexter Manley and a six-year-old kid with Downs is pretty fucking pathetic, almost as pathetic as 50 Cent throwing out a first pitch at a Mets game.

Shannon Sharpe Has the Best Unit in NFL History

shannon sharpe

by Eddie Bagelstein

If you read a story with the following lead sentence, what might you infer that story is about?

The current dominance of the Seahawks’ secondary made us wonder: Who are the best units in league history? 

Shannon Sharpe’s double Coke-can cock, right?

The Sports World Was So Pathetic Yesterday That The Jets Third String Quarterback Doing A Salsa Dance In A Preseason Game Was A Big Deal

matt simms salsa

by Frank Rhombus

Of course, ESPN had the breaking news of Johnny Manziel dropping a deuce at a local Waffle House, but other than that, Matt Fucking Sims doing a salsa dance after throwing a meaningless touchdown had sports blogs from Busted Coverage to Deadspin creaming their shorts.

Welcome to the NBA Steve Ballmer, Now Shut the Fuck Up

Internet And Technology Leaders Address Web 2.0 Summit 2011

by Eddie Bagelstein

Watching this video of new Clippers owner Steve Ballmer going absolutely ape-shit nutzo at a rally for his new team, I immediately concluded the following: We’re going to be seeing way too much of this fucking guy. Doesn’t he remind you of a bigger, balder Mark Cuban, the league’s most annoyingly fired up billionaire cheerleader?

Image Description